When You Just Can't Get Laid (or Even When You Can)

It's getting closer to bedtime and you're looking at your loved one, thinking about the ways you would love to express your love. The day was a long one, and now you want to share the excitement of a relationship and reduce stress in one fell swoop. You start with the sweet nothings and pillow talk shortly before your loved one turns to you and says they're too tired, too stressed, or they have a headache. Now, making love would be the cure-all in this instance, but it takes two to tango. Getting two people to agree about anything is difficult. So there you are, wanting to embrace your lover and wishing the stressors keeping you awake at night would go away. What do you do?

Something Like Sex.

If you answered masterbate, I hope your good hand breaks.

According to this article on Webmd, a study in Scotland pushed 24 women and 22 men into high-anxiety situations, like giving a public speech and working on difficult math problems out-loud. The results showed these regular stress-inducing aspects of life raised the blood pressure of the subjects and led to other indications of stress such as a overall performance. Those who were regularly involved in a sexual intercourse, not only performed better but there blood pressure was lower and other indicators of stress were minute. 

In short, this study revealed not only were sexually active subjects healthier during stressful situations but they also had a positive perspective of their overall existence. 

An article from Huffington Post, proposed that reading a book - or reading something - every day can produce similar results as sex. In this opinion article, Sheenie Ambardar states, 

"Books too have the ability to help us unwind, de-stress, rejuvenate, and relax. They may help us luxuriate in a slower pace of life and give us the chance to reflect on the nature of our own existence."

To elaborate on her thoughts, Ambardar adds, 

"As you read widely and well, you gain knowledge of course; more importantly though, you learn about yourself -- your fears, your wishes, your dreams, and your desires. Reading, if we let it, can be a wonderfully natural stimulator of deep thought and introspection."

I side with Ambardar on both points. There's nothing that can relieve stress like a good book. You have to relax to read one, and reflecting on your life with additional information at your fingertips can really alter your worldview. If you read something that illustrates the very same issues in your life, you are not only entertained by the tale but also provided with some insight into your problems, hopefully while leading to a sense of hope. 

Think about it: Every piece of knowledge you'd like to procure and every situation you'll ever encounter is written somewhere. Nearly every answer to life's paradoxes is available to you, if only you'd pick up the book.

---

Reading is Sexy as Hell.

Even though I'm an avid reader, it's sometimes difficult to sink into a book. Let's face it, though, reading is no different than working out - you have to make time for it. The cool thing is, once you force yourself to read those first few pages, you might just be sucked into the tale and follow it through for the next few days until it's done. You'll relieve your stress, find the answers you might not realize you need, and at the end of the book there's a sensation of accomplishment. You finished a tale. It was intriguing, it was serendipitous, and you knocked out 300-400 pages. 

For some, however, books aren't that appealing. Many of us would rather finish a movie than a book, but movies don't exercise the mind that well. Every sense is directed by film. There's no interpretation, there's no new knowledge. You might get a factoid from the film, but commercial films are designed with the sole purpose of generating revenue. They're designed to regurgitate the same information you already know, because it's popular and people can relate. That makes money, but after the 90 minutes, you're back to reality without much stress relieved, without new information, and without the gratification of accomplishment. I agree that movies are far more amusing and a strong medium for storytelling, but books hold the trump card.

Here's both the bad news and the good news. The bad news is you'll have to read. The good news is, a study discussed on this Telegraph article insists you only have to read for six minutes to feel it's effects. 

Now back to sex.

Sex and books are almost parallel in terms of reducing stress, particularly if the sex is meaningful rather than frivolous. But a book is more loose. If you want to read it, it will let you. It'll even be a meaningful night for you - Bonus! 

And as far as readers go, there's nothing more sexy. You could be a California Dime in anyone's book, but if nothing's going on upstairs, you're more like a three or four on the arbitrary hotness scale. And guys, all the knowledge and creativity you'll possess after reading will be sure to impress the ladies. Maybe it's just me, but since we're all not Channing Tatums, we might need some brains to compensate for the lack of financially-supported bodies. You could woo her off her feet, as long as you don't turn into a rambling epicenter of trivia. (Yep, that was a bit of self-deprecation there.)

Finally, if you'd still rather have sex than pick up a book but are faced with nuisances of sexually frustration, the solution to your problem is written somewhere. Now, I'm not talking about The Complete Dummy's Guide to Getting Laid, but some nonfiction or fiction. Those tales will generally have some instances of a couple expressing their feelings for each other. Taking a psychology textbook approach to situation will surely annoy your partner, but storing some ideas and implementing them creatively in your relationship could lead to a night that "take's their breath away" and is topped off with a celebration back at home . . . or wherever. 

Only the sexiest people read.

---

You Might Also Enjoy:

Trading the Bible for Porn
#NIP Tweepstakes
#NIP Giveaway
Writing Drunk II: Binge Writing
Your Life as Fiction
Your Storytelling Brain 
How Storytelling Can Save Your Life
Why You Like Fiction
Excluded
Social Network for Storytellers
Video Games + Books
Nonfiction + Pornstars
Fiction is About What We Can't Say

Get Sexy