Stop Sucking as a Writer

7/30/2011 0 Comments

Stop Sucking as a Writer

Five Splendorous Tips for the Newbie Author

If you missed the Midwest Writers Workshop this year, you've truly missed a treat.

We had folks like Matthew Clemens, Kelsey Timmerman, Cathy Day, and Jane Friedman leading discussions, as well as a plethora of agents, editors, and publicists. If you haven't arrived at this idea already, I'm ashamed: There was a lot of information to hack.

I'm not too sure how long I will run these tips, but I couldn't simply leave the workshop (#mww11) without dropping these five tips I discovered.

To be honest, I interned for this event, so I shouldn't have hopped in some of the sessions at all. However, I considered my committee badge a backstage pass.

At any rate, let's embark on the tipping of tips.

5. If you want to use social media to your advantage, stop posting nonsense, don't talk politics or religion - and most importantly, DON'T TALK SHIT.

In addition, I would add that you shouldn't do what I used to do.

Check this out! Check out my blog! Hey look at me!

Shameless self-promotion is fine and dandy as long as you have quality content that other people will want to consume.

4. Don't Touch the Agents. (@KelseyTimmerman)

I assume this phrase is akin to "Don't poke the bear" or maybe "The rooster is in the hen house."

During this presentation, however, Timmerman made several valid points. One of which is, just because you were turned down by the agent you pitched to does not necessarily mean game-over during the workshop.

Mingle. Mingle. Mingle. Conversation will get you everywhere. Don't run up to agent after agent, begging them to help you with your story. Stalk them. Be coy.

Which brings me to . . .

3. We're all in this together.

Between sessions and - well - livin' it up with the faculty, I discovered agents are humans. I surmised they were cyborgs, which seems false. Although, I didn't disprove the opposite, and my suspicions still linger.

Nonetheless, everyone in the writing world must work together. Agents don't make the bacon-money unless the writer makes the bacon-money. Same with publicists. They have to sell the crap out of your work to a) Make a living; b)Keep up a valuable reputation.

Don't be afraid to approach them in person or in cyberspace. But . . .

2. Don't Be Careless.

Yep, I made this mistake. My pitch session seemed to be on fire until the moment I (Can you guess what?) told instead of showed.

Yep, always show. Always and everywhere. Nothing is worse than hearing a critique you once heard in high school English.

(And no, telling your date that writers show rather than tell will no make the bed creak any faster.)

For my last tip of the day, I would to make it clear that, due to unforeseen circumstances, I had to return home early from MWW11. However, thanks to twitter, I learned . . .